006

26 juli 2021

Greetings, I am the Plant Man.

Maybe it all starts here. With you and me. Maybe we can start something new together. I often ask you, or anyone else for that matter, for the first step. Not this time.

I've been lurking in the shadows far too long. I think I should go out with a willingness to fall again, flat out, on my face, with all the best intentions. I think I'm scared to let down others, who I feel, like myself, hold me to a high standard.

I think I've lowered my standard of myself over the years, and I don't think others really care that much. So, where does that leave us? I feel like I'm still lost... These past few months haven't made things any easier nor clearer. Well, now that I think about it - it starts to dawn on me that I might really have been really lucky. I might not be giving this fact the consideration it deserves.

Time seems to collapse. It seems like it slowly pushes further. I don't look forward to what the future holds. It's dark, unknown, and unpleasant. All the added calamities don't really help either.

I hold the view that a good chunk of us are really selfish. That is mostly me reflecting my views onto other people, I know this. But it is all starting to seem so childish. What is my future? Why does this me care about how it perceives itself, or even stranger, care how others perceive it? This notion is becoming more and more bizarre.

While I view like I'm growing into a particular worldview that seems to suit me, or at least, requires little effort on my part, I find myself naturally doubting myself again. I want to remain as wide-horizon-ed and objective as possible. Is that possible even?

Yours,

The Plant Man.